A wise man once said that, “Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.” For the process of adoption, this applies 100% of the time, all the time.
Simply the amount of paperwork involved in adopting an abused, neglected, or abandoned child is, to say it simply, mind numbing. This really isn’t an overstatement. Whether you are pursing international adoption, foster care adoption, agency adoption, or word-of-mouth adoption, the legal bureaucracy can often have a chilling affect on your ambitions.
I hope knowing that on the front end can help you persevere through the muck.
For the adoption-process-newby, there are some initial fork-in-the-road decisions that need to be made; like “Do we want to pursue international or domestic?” and “If we are adopting domestically, do we want to work with an agency or pursue a private, word-of-mouth adoption?”
The steps and decisions that you’ll have to tackle, roll out in a seemingly unceasing barrage from there.
Most adoptive parents will start the process by doing copious amounts of online learning. There are discussion groups, and blogs, and videos, and Facebook groups, and … have I left anything out?
The most important thing to really grasp in the beginning is that, unlike the tile in your bathroom, this really isn’t a DIY project that can be mastered from watching Youtube videos. At some point, you will need a seasoned guide to walk you through the process. That’s not very helpful, right? You’re thinking I wasted your time, right?
Sorry, it’s the truth. While there may be scientific principles to understand about the density of H20 that can help predict the strength of ice, there’s no guidebook for crossing a partially frozen lake in Spring. The same goes for adoption – understand the basics, then find a guide you trust to get you to the other side.
… and drink your patience juice every day.
Thank you for your wise words Sam McLure!
Sam McLure, thanks so much for the post.Really thank you! Keep writing.
This is fascinating. I”m always interested in adoption because it has affected my husband and me over the years. We are both adopted (he didn”t find out until he was an adult) and, only five years ago, found out he had a son who he had fathered, but had been given up for adoption. We now have a relationship with that son (and twin grandsons).