The adoption discussion can sometimes create fear for couples wanting children. Most immediately fear costs, others fear the unknown, and others how they could fully love a child who is not biologically theirs. All these fears are normal. All have answers.
First, the words “fear not” or “do not fear” are in the Bible 365 times. What wonderful provision for each day of the year! At the Adoption Law Firm we believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ as told in the Bible, the true, infallible word of God. That’s why we start with these words of hope. Fear is a natural reaction. But we encourage you to be at peace because, very simply, God instructs us to and gives us hope that all our paths are ordained in His providential Love. That is easier said than done! But on a practical level, we can help you replace some of those fears with truth.
The most common fear about adoption is about being able to afford it. Yes, it does cost to adopt. Costs do vary depending on what type of adoption you choose. And, again, the Bible says in Philippians 4:19: “my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ.” If you have been called to adopt, Christ will provide for your needs. We have seen it time and again and in ways that many never expected! We can help you with fundraising ideas and grant options. We also highly recommend a book by Julie Gumm called, “Adopt Without Debt”.
Adoptive families also fear the unknown…will my child have special needs that I wasn’t made aware of ahead of time…will my child like his/her new family…will I be able to handle the stress that comes with being an adoptive parent? All of these are valid concern, and yes, there are risks going into an adoption. But Philippians 4:6-7 states, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” We believe that if you’ve been called to adopt you should bathe the process in prayer and be thankful for the opportunity to expand your family through the miracle of adoption! Doing so will bring peace into the process every step along the way as you invite God to join you and cast your cares on Him.
Last, many families are concerned that they couldn’t love a child that isn’t biologically theirs. I can tell you with experience as an adoptive parent myself that this isn’t the case at all. I had two biological children before adopting and, honestly, if I didn’t look at my daughter realizing that she’s Asian, I would think that she came from my own body! I have actually forgotten at the doctor’s office before and started filling out family medical history as if it were mine biologically! She fits in our family like a hand in a glove and love has never been an issue.
If this is your fear, we also believe it is something that you should be praying about ahead of time, too. Pray for God to seamlessly transition your child into your family. Pray that your child would immediately be comfortable and feel safe and loved. Pray for your child to bond quickly with every family member in a supernatural way. Prayer is a powerful tool for every aspect of our lives, but certainly it’s a necessity during an adoption.
Adoption is a beautiful picture of the Gospel as God the Father adopted us into His family through His Son, Jesus, dying on the cross and being raised to life three days later. As we accept this gift of Jesus, we become children of God adopted into His family. He’s our Heavenly Father and we are co-heirs with Jesus to the throne of the King of kings and Lord of lords! We are so blessed at the Adoption Law Firm to help our clients finalize their forever families and welcome children into their homes to share their love.
I John 3:1a
See what kind of love the Father has given to us that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are!
-Michele R. Willis